so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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