therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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