Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize