Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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