He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
