i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
