i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
how does that bad decision feel?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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