I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
