2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
