So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
