How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
