how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
