We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
