Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so let's talk penis.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
