Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
