She said her name was "party"
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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