I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
