Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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