ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
