alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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