I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
