if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
