How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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