shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
