All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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