im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
love makes seman taste better
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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