yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
