I want to stick my p in your. b.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
