I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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