you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
