It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
