just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
