I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
