I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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