yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
