She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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