yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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