I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
