I smell stomach acid.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
