some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
