I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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