I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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