im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
