Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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