After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
