Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
NoShamevember. You game?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize