I wanna bring you to show and tell
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
