69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
