I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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