sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
