New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
