drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
