I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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