69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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