I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
