Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
