I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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