Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
