I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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