I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
